The Adventures of Elmo and Apu

Welcome to The Adventures of Elmo and Apu.

This will be an ongoing collaborative project, funded and maintained by the BlunderBuss Project. The Adventures of Elmo and Apu will become a series of adventures by two individuals who by all rights shouldn't have any interest in each other. They are from different ethnic backgrounds, have different if any religions, and a lot of time on their hands to explore the world around them.

Elmo was first attracted to Apu because he had been somewhere other than here. Apu came to America from the old country, and Elmo figured there was a wealth of information in Apu that he could tap into. And so, a long time friendship developed.

First, let's explore the characters.

ELMO ZITTLE

Elmo is a dumb country hick. Straight out of the backwoods. Assumes to know it all, even with only a fifth grade education. He fancies himself a writer, having been convinced of it when he completed a literate course by mail. This didn't really teach him to compose, it just made him LITERATE. Since he is surrounded by the illiterate in his environment, it makes him somewhat of a person to look up to by the locals. Elmo can read and write! Elmo got a degree from Annabelle's School of Literacy! Can't read the Sunday paper? Elmo will read it to you!

Elmo's wife died in a hunting accident 2 years ago. This left him only his faithful dog Duke, and gave him even more time to involve himself in everyone else's affairs. He had let the farm get rundown. He had no close friends except Apu, because he was a pain in the ass, but he knew everyone in town. Made his living writing for the local newspaper, which was owned by his brother, the other Elmo. See, Elmo's mother liked the name Elmo so good, she named her second child the same. Confusing, you say? Not for her. Whenever she yelled "Elmo!", she got twice the help she needed. The locals dealt with it the best they could. If both Elmo's were present, one would be Big Elmo, and the other Little Elmo. If only one was present, it didn't matter. It was just Elmo.

Elmo suffered from what he called "brain farts". Apparently these were moments when his brain "ceased to function". Needless to say, this made life much more difficult for him, although he was completely unaware of it. Sometimes while in the middle of a story, he would pause. And pause. And pause. Many times his newspaper articles had bald spots in them. Knowing it was all important for the "news to go out", he would just skip parts of it. Apparently the locals also suffered from the same symptoms, because no one ever complained about it.

APU LASTNAMEUNPRONOUNCEABLE

Apu came to America for a better life. He is educated, but not very diverse in the English language. He has a thick, Middle Eastern accent, and is difficult to understand. In spite of his limitations, he opened a mini-mart in Elmo's local town of Dellbert. Why Dellbert? Because the people who sponsored him live there. Until he met Elmo, they were his only friends in a strange land.

Apu has never been married and has no children. His religion of choice is Hindu, and he takes it very seriously. He wants to become rich and be world reknown like his hero, Indiana Jones. He still hasn't come to the realization that Indiana Jones is a character from a movie, and becomes extremely irate when someone even suggests he is fictional.

He has no qualms about trying anything. He looks at every adventure as an opportunity to explore the great land of America. Or, Amedeeka, as he would say it. He would close his mini-mart at the mere mention of an adventure. And he was very organized about it. Unlike Elmo, who would only pack around his "possibles"; simple things he might possibly need; Apu believed in going prepared. He wore baggy pants with big pockets, always full of HIS "possibles", which caused him to drag his feet when he walked. But, you never know, might need some of it sometime.

Apu is a caring man. Always ready to help anyone. He commits himself to events he never shows up for. Many times he has invited the locals to his house for dinner. But, presumably because of his culture, no one ever shows up. Mostly he falls asleep on the couch waiting, dreaming of the riches America will bring him. There is much in store for Apu....

So, friends, sit back and enjoy The Adventures of Elmo and Apu.

Blog space provided by